The Napoleon of Crime

There's an inherent, primordial viciousness to Professor James Moriarty that many of the names you'll see on this blog lack. Whether that's due to the cold-blooded, reptilian nature of the character himself, or to the circumstances of his creation is up for debate.

Moriarty was created to kill. Both literally, and figuratively. Created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in 1893, the good Professor was a literary bullet aimed at the fictional heart of Sherlock Holmes by his creator. There's a sort of sleekness about him, crafted as he was to be the dark mirror of Holmes, an insinuating sort of presence-we know who Moriarty is, because he is the reflection of Holmes. He possesses an implacable intelligence that we, as the reader, only understand as an afterthought. Deus ex Machina in a tailored suit and top-hat.

An evil genius with a criminal strain in his blood, his mental faculties rivalling or, indeed, exceeding those of Holmes and his brother, Mycroft, Moriarty was the emperor of the London underworld-a calculating Caligula, a soulless thing of cogs and gears and ruthless appetites. Where Sherlock Holmes is the World's Greatest Detective, Professor Moriarty is the World's Greatest Criminal. The perfect foil, the perfect executioner for a character that had taken on a life of his own, almost separate from that of his creator.

Too, for a character who lacked even the benefit of an on-stage canonical appearance (true, read The Final Problem...Moriarty only pops up in Holmes' hurried explanation to Watson), Moriarty has had an impact reminiscent of one of those heavenly bodies he supposedly theorized about in The Dynamics of an Asteroid. He's the phantom that haunts Conan Doyle's opera house, trailing his shadow across the life of Sherlock Holmes and causing it to wither, even after his primary purpose had been fulfilled.

After Holmes' miraculous return in The Adventure of the Empty House, he was never the same. Still the Great Detective, but somehow lessened, as if the memory of Moriarty's near-victory had a vampiric effect on Holmes' abilities. There are a number of further stories where the spectre of Moriarty haunts Holmes as he grapples with difficult cases, including His Last Bow, the final story in the official canon. The Professor even managed to worm his way retroactively into The Valley of Fear.

Then, consider the influence Moriarty has had on pop culture-eerily reminiscent of that of his enemy, dogging his footsteps beyond the boundaries of canon even as he trailed him across Europe. He has appeared in countless pastiches, sometimes facing his old foe, other times occupying the limelight alone (John Gardner's Moriarty novels, for instance). He has made appearances in films and various other media. He has locked horns with other malevolent figures, including Fu Manchu and Dracula (both of whom also fought Holmes and neither of whom came as close to destroying the Detective as Moriarty himself). Whatever media Holmes conquers, Moriarty is there, slinking through the back door, inflicting himself on the unsuspecting.

It could be said that Conan Doyle, desperate to kill one egregore, unleashed a second, even more sinister one. Desperate to eradicate the ultimate hero, he crafted the ultimate villain, and one thing that villains are good at is cheating death. Moriarty, created to kill Holmes and then fade away like a bad dream, clung stubbornly to life, thrusting himself into the public consciousness via the very act that was supposed to bring about his destruction. And like Holmes, he has flourished in the aftermath, albeit in a more subtle fashion.

Appropriate for such a shadowy figure, don't you think?

BOB

Established in suburbia as only Twin Peaks creator David Lynch could, through the close up screams of a grieving housewife and mother, and a static shot of staircase and swirling fan, Lynch cuts into dead prom queen Laura Palmer’s perfect all American bedroom. Once inside, the first glimpse of BOB is visible as seen in the mothers’ vision. He is the quintessential demon and/or drifter serial killer. Grinning, unshaven, clad in dirty denim, and with long flowing wolflike silver hair, BOB peers through the bars of the dead girls bed. The deep symbolism of this introductory shot, being ‘trapped’ in the mirror and enjoying a voyeuristic view through the bars of the teenager’s bed, became intrinsic and central to what was to be later revealed about BOB.

Psychotic strobe visions, deep red dreams and childhood memories seemed to be the only places that BOB could be found, whilst back on the physical plane his presence was dismissed for lack of real evidence. That was until the appearance of a one armed traveling shoe salesman named MIKE.

Peddling his ‘Circle Brand’ boots to the town, the smiling salesman at first seemed like simply a humorous homage to the villain in the old television serial, The Fugitive. Once again, Lynch used this to lower the audience’s guard, and make MIKE a terrifying gateway to learn more about BOB.

Without his mix of schizophrenic depressing drugs, MIKE sweats out the story that he is an ageless evil spirit who had an golden epiphany, finding the light of God. Unfortunately his former partner and familiar, BOB, did not experience it. MIKE also revealed that he was inhabiting the body of the salesman to find his old killin’ partner from the road, and stop him.

Lynch’s use of a familiar as the supernatural villain is an unique one. Many websites and fan literature describe BOB as a demonic entity possessing the physical murderer of Laura, her secretly abusive father, Leland. Some elements of the show do support this theory, see BOB’s confession in the police station basement. With shadows of classic demonic exorcism evidence, the usual flailing against the restraints, total possession of the host, playful teasing of the ‘exorcists’ that turns to unholy taunting, violence, and knowledge of evil events that it was not witness too, the show does present a case for demonic possession. But overall, Lynch and co present BOB as a familiar, an animal that aids with the tasks of the witch or the unholy. In this case the animal is an owl. However, unlike demonic possession, followers of the Catholic Church believe that a spiritual familiar is capable of overtaking the personality rather than the body of its host. This is supported by Leland’s ability to quite capably function and maintain his well groomed appearance as both a lawyer and pillar within society whilst possessed by BOB, until it takes over his will for short periods of madness.

After forty years of symbiosis, BOB eventually bloodily escapes the confines of Leland when he has had his fill of the man’s life and soul. In Leland’s final moments on earth, the show’s protagonists learn that BOB first appeared to Leland whilst he was staying at his childhood holiday home in the woods. This could be interpreted as either a metaphor, or literal account of, abuse, or simply that the spirit had found a new home. In his last act to decimate the soul of the man, BOB unloads all of the evil events that he has made Leland commit, and repress, into his mind. Again, whether this is a metaphor for the last act of conscience a dying man faces for a lifetime of sins, or a literal act, the evil nature of BOB managed to have one last slice of fun before breaking free and temporarily returning back to his wooded home. Soon, he finds another host with which to start the cycle again…

In the aftermath of the horrific events, as the witnesses to BOB’s ‘appearance’ discuss what has transpired, some find it too unbelievable to stomach. Cynical FBI man Albert Rosenfeld, taking the stance of both science and government, believes that whether he really existed or not that BOB may have just been a physical culmination of the evil within the world? This question is one that Lynch presents to the audience throughout the show. One which he only ambiguously answers.

Lynch attributes the casting of BOB to a ‘happy accident’, that set dresser Frank Silva was simply captured in shot whilst the bedroom was being filmed. Unfortunately, Silva died in 1995 due to AIDS. Besides working as a set designer on many Lynch productions, his only other non-Twin Peaks acting role was in the Anthrax video, Only. An appropriate final rockin’ appearance for the spirit of small town evil.

Angel Eyes

You can tell that Angel Eyes is the villain the moment he appears on screen in Sergio Leone's classic Spaghetti Western, THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY. The black gaucho hat and the moustache are early tells, but in this film all of the three titular characters are criminal. There are a number of clear factors that make Angel Eyes the true villain amongst this motley of gunslinging thieves.

Angel Eyes is a bounty hunter who is working his own angle. When we first meet him, he is questioning a man names Stevens about his ultimate quarry, 'Bill Carson'--a soldier who has absconded with a fortune in gold. Angel Eyes accepts a mission from Stevens to kill his own employer, Baker--and then he kills Stevens, and then Stevens' oldest son. Then he goes and kills Baker, too, collecting payment from both sides. This is not some twisted sense of honour at work; he just doesn't like to leave loose ends. Angel Eyes is thorough.

Angel Eyes works for a living, but he is his own man--and like most good villains, he is the character who seizes the initiative. Blondie (Clint Eastwood, "The Good") and Tuco (Eli Wallach, "The Bad") mostly react to their surroundings. Quick wits, luck and naked greed propel them through the story, but Angel Eyes has a plan. Blondie and Tuco discover the secret of Bill Carson's gold purely by chance; Angel Eyes is the one who goes looking for it. Left to his own devices, Blondie returns to his original petty scam. Tuco works himself into a tizzy wanting the gold, but without any real idea of how he's going to get it once he finds Blondie. Angel Eyes takes the strategic view: he installs himself as an officer at a nearby Union army stockade so that he can monitor who comes and goes through the area.

The chaos of the Civil War is a big part of this movie. For Blondie and Tuco it's just part of the environment that they have to contend with while they engage in their criminal pursuits: a stray cannonball saves Blondie when he is captive in a hotel; a Union patrol mistakes them for Confederates and captures them. Angel Eyes, however, is smarter and more imaginative: he makes the army work for him.

Angel Eyes is the very model of a smart criminal: he knows immediately that he can torture information out of Tuco, but not Blondie--so he forms a partnership with him. Angel Eyes is reasonable. He's long-sighted and expedient; a leader of men who is yet more than capable of doing his own dirtywork.

Lee Van Cleef plays his character with a restraint that's rare in the gallery of fulminating, cackling, cape-swirling villains. In the screenplay, Angel Eyes is named "Sentenza" -which means "Verdict" in Italian - and with good reason. He is patient, calm, and quietly good humoured... but one look in those angel eyes and you can tell that he's judging whether your life or death will bring him greater profit.

Trapdoor Under The Mat

Hello there, puny mortals, and welcome to Smiling, Damned.

Here on this blog we are going to analyze the greatest perpetrators of villainy in popular culture and literature.

What makes a good badguy? Which villains do we love to hate, or hate to love? Who has the baddest hat or the ass-kicking-est boots? Why should you turn your collar up and just how much swirl in your big black cape is too much?

We will discuss the characters, their creators and the various artists who have brought them to life in any and every medium.

The big black steam train is coming, so twirl your moustaches and laugh--or you might find that it's you tied to the tracks.

-- Jason Franks